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David W. Zoll's avatar

What a hoot~! Torn between #7 Waitperson/Server in Loxahoochee, and the Frog Brigade.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

ha ha ha! Thanks

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

Take the Frog Brigade. Frog is being considered for Time's Person of the Year.

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Terry Freedman's avatar

Quite brilliant. I fancy being a pole dancer myself, because I need the exercise. Apart from the humour, it reads like Philip K. Dick story, or an epuside from The Twighlight Zone.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Thanks, Terry. I used to have a TV, and I remember very well what all those adverts sound like, the phrases they used. Come to think of it, that is why I tossed the damn TV out eight years ago! And yes! Pole dancer. A logical choice for you! I could also see you as a part of the frog brigade, too,

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Terry Freedman's avatar

It was a difficult choice!

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Jill CampbellMason's avatar

Laughing is the first reaction: What a way to begin November!! A belly laugh is a necessary ingredient. Love it!

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Good! Mission accomplished, Jill. Happy day to you!

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David Perlmutter's avatar

Big Al certainly sounds like he was cut in the mold of "Honest Ed" Mirvish, whose eccentric oversized variety store was a fixture in Toronto for many long years.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Thanks, David!. I think sales businesses like Big Al’s abound. Especially on TV. At least in my area. Furniture stores, appliance stores, car parts, electronics, politics…

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David Perlmutter's avatar

And used car dealers, like “Mad Man” Muntz in California…

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Yes! Exactly so!

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David Perlmutter's avatar

Here in Winnipeg we had Nick Hill of Kern-Hill Furniture Co-Op, who always did his ads wearing a cowboy hat and shouting ‘COME ON DOWN!”

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

His cousin Big Jim DeLoon worked here on the coast. Come on down. Two for the price of one. It all has to go!

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Sharon Hudson's avatar

Love this! So many options!! I think I’d like to Trade in for a Hippie Cat Whisperer. Already a turkey, squirrel, deer, gopher and husband-whisperer. I do have experience with cats. Where do I apply?

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Yes! I can see you in the love beads, hanging out on the river bank. Apply down at Big Als. No hurry. He’s had this listing for a while.

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Sharon Hudson's avatar

✌️😎

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Groovy.

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

It's been quite a while since I've laughed this hard. Goodness! So many awesome choice to pick from. I'll take No. 9 if it's still available. ..... Oh wait!

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

live large, girl! A more inspired choice for you would be pole dancer!

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Sue Cauhape's avatar

you're absolutely right. oh the ooos and aaaahs I'll get with this body. woohoo!

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Jack Jackson's avatar

#6 and #7 are both very alluring!

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

The loxahoochee life sounds great, IF you aren't worried about mosquitos, gators, book burning and Ron DeSantis . Just saying.

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James Ron's avatar

Great new listings, Sharron! Thank you. I just got a new life but I would have gone for the Lumberjack position in an instant. A friend in N.O. will be in touch about the Pole Dancer life. That refurbished shotgun house in the 7th Ward is what sold her. She might go for the option as well. Thanks, again.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

I will have Big Al put the lumberjack life on reserve, in case you change your mind. Also, tell your friend to absolutely take the option. That Remi - he aims to please!

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Yael Gelardin's avatar

What a great idea! I think number 11 would suit me. I’ll sleep on it and see what the morning says.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

An easy choice, Yael. Might suit you. I don't see you as a Hallmark movie kind of girl, though. But something tells me you have never tried pole dancing. And neither have I. Might be an adventure for both of us!

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Kate Henry's avatar

I can tell you've had a hard day. I prescribe more chocolate and an unexcused nap in the sun.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Phew! Thanks for that! Great idea.

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Kate Henry's avatar

Surprised you don't have that as your "go to" cure for all that ails you. Works great here every time ))) Extra credit: pet a cat and invite said cat to nap with you. )))

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Perfect!

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K.C. Knouse's avatar

I think you missed your calling, Sharon. You would have made a great ad copywriter or used car salesperson. Lots of laughs in this piece. I like the way you emphasize the positive aspects of these lives and completely ignore the downside. I missed the original. Can I find it in your archives?

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Ha ha ha Yes! This version is virtually the same as the first one, I just added three more “timely listings”. The original is no longer in the archive.

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Mark Starlin's avatar

How can I possibly choose? Curse you Big Al for so many great options.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

I heard they still have a few openings in the frog brigade in Portland. Just saying…

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Mark Starlin's avatar

I can't live in a state that starts with the letter O. It's weird, but there it is.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Trained Sniper sounds good. I like appointments. They get things done. Hehe. Great post, Sharron.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Thanks for reading my Leaves, Parker. I am glad you found something you could identify with in this one. Good choice. We could use a good sniper right about now. ( Urg. Did I say that out loud?)

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

Deliciously, delightfully bonkers - and waaaaaay closer to my own live(s) than I'd like to admit!

No, I'll admit it. I've always wanted a job title, a name tape, a label, an ID badge, yet I've spent my entire existence pigeonholing my imaginary self into a whole load of creative career identities without actually ever having a career. My favourite job title ever was 'part-time temporary typist', which takes about as long to say as the duration of my entire employment in the position.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

"part-time temporary" Sounds good to me. I have been thinking of inquiring for a job affixing those little stickers to pieces of fruit in the market. I think I could totally do that job!

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

Oh, what a lovely job that sounds! Can I be the one to pass you each sticker in turn? Apples first, or lemons?

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Oh, my! What a team we would make!

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Paula Langguth Ryan's avatar

You had me chuckling along.. until I hit #10 Personal Driver, Detroit.... that one got me to laugh aloud. Thank you!!!!

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Paula! I am so glad this made you smile. Big Al is offering a hell of a deal on #10. right now. Might be time for a change?

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