He watched porn on his laptop every single day, regarding it as essential to his mental and physical well-being.. On the weekends, he’d be out with the usual suspects, shooting hoops, playing a little pool, watching the Nets on TV. They’d hang out in front of Sal’s barbershop, laughing and shouting, always horsing around, punching each other as if, somehow, brutish physicality combined with loud, crude speech was indicative of their manhood. You get the picture … Nick was young.
He’d find a random woman at the club every Saturday night, any woman would do, as long as she rated a nine or a ten on the Hotness Scale. It was just a game to him, and with his muscular charm, he was nearly always the winner. Women were willing to go to his bed, even knowing that sex was a just a contact sport to Nicky, like wrestling or football. No meaningful gears in his head were ever engaged. He simply focused on his own pleasure. And the women, well, they had the dubious honor of going along for the ride. He often didn’t even know their names; he addressed them all as oh baby. Maybe he was happy, maybe not, but he did try to live up to everything he knew about what it was to be a man.
On Saturdays, he would go to confession and spill all his sins into the eager ears of his priest, the same transgressions repeated week after week. His confessor would say, “I absolve you, but be careful, Nicky! Try harder for the sake of your immortal soul.” He’d go to the gym to work off his penance, praying aloud his Our Fathers and Hail Marys to the rhythm of lunges and squats. He saw no incongruity in atoning for his sins while simultaneously toning his body. At mass on Sunday, he’d take communion with his family and begin the new week with a freshly-laundered conscience.
Then he met Angie.
Angle was the new woman at Il Fornaio bakery, who worked behind the counter making half-caff soy lattes and other exotic drinks. She looked nice, he thought, friendly. She’d teased him lightly when she took his order. Sitting in the corner by the window with his coffee and cannoli, he studied her as she worked. She wore baggy T-shirts, loose jeans, no makeup. Her clothing revealed no curves or bare skin. She definitely was not like the women he was used to.
When he went back the next day, she chatted with him for a while about a book she was reading. “I have seen the movie and I liked the movie better than the book,” she said, “even though the characters were miscast, but I wanted to read the book again anyway.” Stuff like that. She told him she was taking classes to get a degree in forest management. “I want to go out west,” she said, “and see the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone.”
She was like a new species. She had a way of looking him directly in the eye when she spoke to him; it made him feel a little queasy. “You are the strangest girl I ever met,” Nick told her, and she laughed, taking it as a compliment. Later, he told his friends, “I think she’s into me – not in a take-me-home-and-fuck-me way, but … you know, just nice.” He found himself absentmindedly rating her a five on the Hotness Scale, and then felt somehow weird to even think about her that way. He wasn’t entirely aware of what was happening, but she was like a magnet, no doubt about it, and she was pulling at the iron in his bones.
He casually dropped into Il Fornaio every afternoon, wanting to hook up with her, but he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. She was an entirely new game, one he’d never played before. He didn’t know how to start with her, didn’t know the rules, or how to score points. She would look at him with those unflinching green eyes and he’d feel a little unhinged, like she was actually seeing him, seeing all the way into his thoughts. It disturbed him.
Over the next month or so, Angie and Nicky began to slowly decipher each other. She knew he was a player, but she got the feeling that maybe he’d never really connected with a woman other than in a physical way, a one-sided physical way at that. But she heard a kind heart beating in him. He thought she was a little odd, and he often didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about, but he was all in. She was the only thing that man could think of.
Angie was in no hurry. She had kissed him a few times, but she didn’t go back to his apartment. It was just too common these days for people to meet on line or in a bar and, without thinking, jump into bed with a complete stranger. I’m not looking for that, she thought. I’m not going to be someone’s random half-hour playground. She was more interested in exploring all the continents in Nicky’s head, hoping to see the territory that lay a little deeper. They went for pizza at Guido’s a few times. They rode bicycles through the neighborhoods, went to an art gallery, saw a couple of old movies, went to a Cyclones game. She even went to meet his family.
Little by little, Nicky revealed a more gentle version of himself. He risked setting aside his tough image once in a while and just be who he was. She was letting him into her true self, too, showing him the real Angie, the one with the regrets, the flaws and fears. She thought he would want to know.
This afternoon they are stretched out on the carpet with pillows in Nicky’s apartment, listening to the rain fall into the alley outside the window. Some ancient Buddy Miles track is playing softly in synch with the hissing of the radiator. The faint spicy scent comes from a bowl of oranges on the table. A candle flickers on the window sill. They are not talking, just lying there on the floor looking at each other, face to face, breathing. His stockinged feet are wound around hers. They look into each other for a long time, listening to the music, lost in the moment.
They are exploring their hidden worlds today. Angie’s hoping they will make a truly intimate connection - one that falls well outside the realm of casual sport. And that is exactly what Nicky is hoping for too. He just didn’t know it until this exact moment.
Very nice, Sharron! The one who turns your life upside down and all around is a keeper.
I liked Don Jon, definitely see the influence. I also like how you switch from past to present tense. I am always so scared to do that like I’m not doing it right. But totally works here.