Pawed-Cast 2 : Up All Night With Raymond

Catly night notes from East Santa Cruz - a 5-minute read

Mar 02, 2024

RAYMOND - Photo courtesy of WallpaperSafari.com

Winner of an Erica Drayton “Top In Fiction” Award

It’s 3:00 am and you are tuned to UP ALL NIGHT WITH RAYMOND

Welcome back to all my insomniac subscribers! Thanks for tuning in to my second pawed-cast, where we share all the cat-news from here on the left side of Santa Cruz, with furry night-owls around the world.

I’m sitting alone out here on the rock wall listening to the cricket’s night-music, as the grey strings of stratus clouds pass over a waning moon. The acacias are in full bloom on Marnell Street, their sweet perfume mixes with the delicious scent of mackerel that floats on the breeze from across the harbor. Another crisp, quiet, late winter night on the Monterey Bay.

I had hoped for a live interview for you tonight with noted Florida writer,

Jim Cummings

, but unfortunately he ran afoul of the security patrol at the Caloosahachee Circle K convenience store. He was picked up for, allegedly, loitering and disturbing the peace. In his defense, he explained that he was merely listening in on conversations and jotting them in his notebook as inspiration for future Substack stories. He meant no harm. They held him a couple hours, then relieved him of his notebook and released him on his own recognizance. Tough luck, Jim! We’ll miss you and we look forward to seeing you next time.

Okay, friends! Here is the Home Report for March 2

• The biggest news is that I have been hired as spokes-cat for a new product featured on Amazon. March begins the major shedding season, as all of you longhairs are aware. By the amount of fluff Mary’s sweeping up daily from every corner and cranny ( what the hell’s a cranny?), they are predicting an early spring. Dennis grooms me twice a day, and is sneezing like a maniac. The yard looks like it is snowing cat fur. But grandma came to the rescue with a new “one-button-self-cleaning-Sunflower-Brush” for the spring shedding. Very effective and makes for a fine spa-like experience!

• This week Mary brought home three boxes of my favorite new food, Friskies Surfin’, Turfin’ Favorites. I ate it for three days and then decided I didn’t like it any more. I politely let her know that it would no longer do. She just left it in the bowl, saying, “Too bad, Ramón, mi amor, but you have 8.5 more pounds of the stuff to eat.” I’ll let you know who wins the stand off. Meanwhile, she may at least offer me a Squeeze-Up or two.

• Dennis and Mary tried to jump me yesterday, but luckily I escaped. Mary lured me into the kitchen by shaking a box of kitty treats and while I was munching, Dennis crept up behind me and tried to squirt some disgusting flea goop on the back of my neck. But I was too quick — I flew straight up into the air, made a quick, evasive 90˚ turn to the left, while still in flight, and bolted out the cat door. The flea goop splattered all over the floor. D and M were not sure whose turn it was to clean it up. They haven’t tried it again, but I know they’ re watching for the right time to make their move. I am keeping an eye on them.

• I slept under the dining room table for about a month, then moved to the towel cubbies in the bathroom for a while. For two weeks I slept only on the bench in the sunny hallway window, but now I’ve discovered another cozy little nest to sleep in — in the closet in the wire basket with Dennis’ shorts. I broke the wire a little in a couple of places, but it is actually quite comfortable, warm and private.

And now for the Neighborhood Cat Scan

Intruder Report: I have been out every night hiding behind a fern, on the lookout for the lady skunk who likes to dig up the lily bulbs. We all know she’s been in the yard ( pew! ), but I haven’t actually seen her. Dennis warned me that if I disturb her, I will most likely be banished from the house for weeks, so my mission is to just quietly observe and report.

Notes from the dog park. I never go across the street to the leash-free canine debacle — I rely on my friend, Otto-Miguel, a Chiweenie, who brings me the dog news. He speaks pretty good Cat, albeit with a German-Spanish accent. He reported that

1.) Mrs. Sweeney will no longer be bringing her cocker spaniel, Missy, to the park. Missy just had a litter of five and all of them look suspiciously like Ollie, Mr Deene‘s undisciplined, and .. um… libidinous corgi. And,

2.) The two new rescue mutts, Peanut and Tater, are having a fabulous time running and wrestling with their new canine friends in the park, and everyone feels the joy of their liberation. Helen brought Beggin Strips for every dog at the park yesterday to celebrate their having joined the family.

Updates

• Clawdius, the young gangster felis catus from up the alley, has finally given up trying to get into our yard, since Dennis closed up the hole in the fence. He’s gone off in other directions in search of easier targets for his bad cattitude. I remain vigilant and ready to take him on if need be.

• I finally dispatched the last of the shrews and gophers from Ms Fassbinder’s garden next door, but had no luck with the troublesome mole. She’ll just have to live with him. I’m going over to the Green’s house to see if they might require my services. It is a rodent’s paradise over here on the east side.

Well, that’s it for tonight, friends! I am happy to announce that this pawed-cast now has subscribers in 42 states and 45 countries. All thanks to you! Remember— if you have questions or thoughts, please comment below. And please tell your friends it’s time to start staying

LEAVES

Discussion about this post