Pawed Cast 7: Up All Night With Raymond
FOUR MINUTES ⭐️ A series featured in the Top In Fiction Weekly ⭐️
It’s 3:00 am and you’re tuned into UP ALL NIGHT WITH RAYMOND!
Greetings to all my insomniac subscribers! Thanks for tuning into another pawed cast, where all the catly news from the left side of Santa Cruz goes out to night-people around the world.
If you’ve missed any of my Pawed Casts, fear not! Links are provided below.
It is a brutally cold 59 degrees on this November night in Santa Cruz. I am sitting out on the low patio wall, watching the moon leap over the pine tree in the dog park across the street. It is a fat gibbous moon — or, as we Santa Cruzans might say, La Mezza Luna, owing to our Italian heritage. That moon is wearing a rather reddish face tonight as if it were embarrassed by what it sees going on down here, and rightly so.
Meanwhile, a nocturnal mocking bird sits on the weather vane on top of the garage, chirping out a non-stop Mozartian aria. Some bird-joy has really got him lit up.
The funky smell of anchovies colors the onshore breeze as it wafts up from off the harbor. Or it could be from the ovens of Quiggle’s All-Night Pizza over on Water Street. Can’t say for sure.
The Home Report
It’s been a particularly hard week here on Marnell Avenue.
• On Monday I got caught outside the front fence when the garbage truck came swooshing around the corner. Usually I tear into the house and dive under the couch to be safe, but this time I had only half a second to act. I ducked behind the rosemary bush, and froze. Fortunately, I was not detected. I have to admit, I got very religious there for a minute or two and squeaked out a grateful, “Praise Jesus!”
Then, not five minutes later, that thug, Brutus, came into the yard to beat me up. What’s the deal with him? Why does he always have to torment me. I’m not a fighter. I am a sleepy, peace-loving lap-junkie, everyone knows that. But he came at me sudden, all fangs and claws, and got me good on the top of my head, right between the ears.
• Dennis tried to doctor me up, but the hell with that! And I wasn’t going to be stuffed in a box and taken to the vet either. (Try and catch me, mister! ) Anyway, it’s healing, but no doubt it will leave a snaggly scar.
I find Mary is even more solicitous than usual, so that’s a bonus, and when she heads toward the treat cupboard, I can still out run her.
• I have to say, all in all, I am enjoying a great life here with these folks, but it’s even better now that Mary’s retired. Sometimes we just sit around in the Laz-E-Boy half the day, binge watching murder mysteries together. Mary likes murder. A lot. I think it keeps her husband on his best behavior.
• Every October, I begin the involuntary process of growing my winter coat. I descend from a long line of Norwegian forest cats, and winter hair growth is programmed into my genetic makeup. I love the extra warmth, but I’ll look like a fluffy meatloaf until April...
The Neighborhood Cat Scan
• Nothing much to report in the neighborhood tonight. The avenue and adjacent alley have been pretty quiet. On my rounds this evening I ran into a few of the usual feral suspects — ‘possums, raccoons, skunks and rats, but the torpor of impending winter has them moving very lethargically, to the point of near hibernation.
• There was a bit of wild dancing in the street on Tuesday night. Pets were ignored, and neighbors came out in great numbers after the elections. They dragged out all of their old favorite music tapes — Metallica, Talking Heads, The Knack, Mötley Crüe, and drank way more beer than was good for them. Ms. Fassbinder was dancing to My Sharona and munching from a huge bag of churros. She said she was suddenly feeling full of hope.
• Last year in October, if you remember, Mary sewed a super-hero costume for me for Halloween, cape and all. Of course no self-respecting cat would stand for being dressed up, least of all, me. But, apparently, dogs have no shame. The neighborhood canines were easily bribed into wearing costumes with only a few Greenies and Bonz as incentives, so there was quite a party over in the dog park on October 31. My BFF, a Chiweenie named Otto-Miguel won first prize for dressing as a sausage chalupa.
• I don’t go over to the dog park, myself — too many loose cannons, if you ask me. But I did notice that a couple of new canines have joined the group — twin beagles. They seem harmless enough. Maybe I can get Otto-Miguel to introduce us. I heard they belong to the geriatric stoners who live in the ADU ( a modified tool-shed ) in the alley and their names are Cheech and Chong. The dogs, I mean, not the owners.
Well, that’s it for tonight, friends!
I’m happy to announce that this pawed cast now has 520 subscribers in 41 states and 47 countries. The Up All Night With Raymond series was awarded a medallion by Erica Drayton, and is a featured serial in Substack’s TOP IN FICTION Weekly - www.topinfiction.com ⭐️Thank you everyone!⭐️
Please leave a comment and smack that little heart to cast your vote. See you next time, and meanwhile, tell your friends it’s time start staying
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It was great to catch up with you, Raymond. Have fun watching those murder mysteries with Mary but be sure to tell Dennis if you see her taking notes.