Pink Boxers and Other Mistakes
Some good advice from old people who know stuff - 3 minutes
A couple of laughs from the Archive of 2022 for my new subscribers
I have been collecting some damned good advice from the seniors in my neighborhood. Believe me, old people know a lot of stuff! Here are just a few miscellaneous life lessons, learned the hard way, apparently.
It is always less painful to learn from other people’s mistakes, so please share a few of your own learnings in the comments!
• It is not a good idea to toss red socks in the washer along with your husband’s boxers. He would rather go without underwear than wear pink ones. - Hannah
• Never show anyone your three cute sets of figural salt and pepper shakers, unless you want to receive more sets of shakers every birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, and Mother’s Day for the rest of your life. The same goes for duck decoys and Smurfs -Lillian
• Don’t convince yourself that you’ll never gain back all the weight you’ve lost. It is a delusion. The current battle may be won, but the war goes on until you are dead. And, no, in case you were wondering — clothes do not just shrink on their own while hanging in a closet. -Edna
• Don’t attempt to iron the wrinkles out of a plastic shower curtain, unless you want to buy a new iron … and a new shower curtain. I’m just saying. -Bill
• If you feed peanuts in the shell to the squirrels, they will bury them in your planter boxes and flower pots, scattering soil and plants everywhere. Then they will return every day to dig them up, to make sure they are still there. -Eddy
• Don’t attempt to eat an ice cream cone while wearing a face mask. -Nancy
• If you brush your teeth in a dark bathroom you run the risk of picking up the wrong tube. You don’t want to clean your teeth with Ben-Gay ... or worse, Preparation-H. Turn on the light! -Doris
• After the age of 70, you cannot just assume your knees will function when going down the stairs. Hang on to the rail, you knuckleheads! -Frank
• Never mistake a Pressure Cooker for a Slow Cooker. You can leave a slow cooker preparing a stew for hours, while you go out to run errands. If you leave a pressure cooker on the stove cooking stew while you go out and run errands, I can guarantee that fire trucks will be involved. -Clark
• Do not order two starches at the same meal when you are in Italy. They will not bring you both risotto and spaghetti. You will only start an argument in a language you do not speak, and you will lose. -Marcia
• Remember to recycle the supplies in your earthquake emergency bins every year. Not only do those canned goods expire, but that extra set of clothing you have in there may be three sizes too small by now. -Helen
I hope you’ve found this senior advice helpful. Now it is your turn!
Please give us another piece of advice in the comments section.
Great tips, Sharron! I like the advice to never mistake a pressure cooker for a slow cooker....yikes!! One piece of advice for us "over seventies" travelers, would be to never pass up a bathroom when you are on a road trip.
Haha! I've made the "pink boxer" mistake often enough to have been relieved from laundry duty.