Surviving My Seventies
Pet peeves of a senior on the edge - GUEST WRITER: Carol Roe. THREE MINUTES
This lighthearted look at aging, was written by my friend and neighbor, Carol Roe. It made me laugh. I hope it will make you laugh, too.
Surviving my Seventies
Pet Peeves of a Senior on the Edge
by Carol Roe
I used to be so easygoing. Really, I did! But I have entered my 70s, and there are some things that bother me now that never bothered me before. A few of you, I am sure, know exactly what I mean.
So many things I don’t understand, for example:
- Why do Hallmark Christmas movies start appearing in July? Six months before the holiday season?
- Some drivers sit at a green light for such a long time. Why are the drivers waiting behind them hesitant to honk?
- Jar lids have gotten so tight that I’ve had to buy a special gadget to open them. Why are no instructions included as to how to use the gadget? I had to scan a code on the outside of the box and read the instructions on my phone. I had to search for my magnifying glass to read them …
- Why are milk carton screw tops so small now? How are we supposed to get a good grip on them? Do manufacturers really think cutting 1/16” of plastic off the milk carton cap is going to save the planet?
- And how the heck can anyone open the plastic casing on string cheese? Even if I can find the loose area at the end of the wrapping, I don’t have the super strength required to pull it apart!
- Why do I need to carry a notebook with me from the front of the house to the back of the house so I can jot down what I’m looking for? Any trip over 27 steps and I have no idea why I came into the kitchen. Or was I going to the den?
- Why do women's shirts have sleeves that are only four inches long? Do the designers have any idea what the upper arm of a 75-year-old woman looks like? Thank goodness for the men’s department.
At least I am learning to laugh at myself when:
- I totally panic each time I have to step onto the escalator with my cane.
- I go to unlock my car in the grocery store parking lot and realize it’s not my car and it is a totally different shade of blue.
- I see an old friend and have to go through the alphabet to remember her name.
- I can’t remember what I did yesterday, and have to consult the check list on the kitchen counter. Or the one taped to the bathroom mirror.
- I go to get my keys — keys that absolutely, without a doubt, I put in the bowl by the door, because that’s what I do every single day as I come in. But they are not there. Twenty minutes later I find them still dangling in the lock on the outside of the front door — where they have been all night.
Getting older can be challenging but it is rewarding at the same time. At the moment, I’m not too clear about what the rewarding part is, but since I can’t remember, it must not be that important.
Thank you to Carol Roe for sharing her writing on Leaves today. Smack the little heart for her, if you will. And I am sure she would love your comments.
Remember the rhyme, Heads, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.
Now change the words before you leave the house. Wallet, glasses, keys and phone, keys and phone.
Also, if you walk into a room and forget why you did that, stand there awhile, it will come to you. However, you should bring a cup of coffee since you may be there for a while.
So that is the solution. Always carry a cup of coffee with you, everywhere.
I lived past the 70s so I have some answers.
Christmas movies too early give us time to think about presents in time to save up money.
Green light waiting..... there's serious crazies in a BIG hurry who won't wait their turn. Be sure.
Screw tops smaller not to save the world but 1/2 penny per day production.
Plastic casing prevents "sampling" in the store. Must have the BIG scissors to open at home.
Notebook: good idea. Go to look up something on the computer and wander 4 hours but not for the first answer.
Sleeves too short: See screw caps above. 6ft tall at 12 so men's department is an old friend.
Old age rewarding: we have more answers to life and permission to nap without a note.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.