You've captured the inner thoughts that most people have (Or should have) as they approach such a big life decision. You are correct, one can never fully "know" someone, but you can know a lot "about" someone. You may not know in advance that she hogs the couch and puts her bare feet on your lap when you're trying to watch Yellowstone, but that's a minor thing. (Just an example, that doesn't really happen, not every night.) Haha!
Great examples of what things we learn after the wedding... I will never forget: my husband went clamming and left the clams in a bucket of water over night so they would rinse out all the sand inside them. In the morning I saw him reach into the bucket, pull out a clam and bite its neck off when it was still ALIVE and eat it! (Italians like raw clams...) Grounds for divorce right there. Eeeuuuw!
Not these days anyway. There is very little tolerance for disillusionment now, I think If she's not what you wanted, toss her out and get a new one. Thanks for reading at 🍁Leaves, AT!
We took a while to get to know each other both before and after we married. We were pretty long in the tooth for first-time-getting-marrieds - we were 39 and 45 at the time! I wonder if that made a difference? I don't think I would have been ready at a much younger age than that, to be honest! We still make each other laugh, which is so lovely.
Your loving relationship with your husband is evident in your stories. My cynicism, maybe, is reflected in mine... sigh. I am working on changing that.
Thank you so much! But don't knock cynicism - I think a healthy dose of the stuff adds a certain piquancy to writing, Sharron - as well as to any clam dish! 🤣
I imagine most people share these same thoughts! Great job capturing the leap of faith many couples take. What’s the statistic these days? 50% are lucky enough to land safely on the other side? I like how you say it will either work out or it won’t. It really is a coin flip.
Is it possible some women like the idea of a WEDDING and being queen for one day (witness the $1,000s spent!) but are not clear on the meaning of MARRIAGE? Yes, 50% of US marriages end in divorce. Is it maybe due to the lack of religion in their lives? Or is it just because it is so easy to get out of a marriage if you want to? I don't know. ( I didn't realize how much I valued solitude and quiet until after I got married.)
My wife and I dated for about nine month before getting married. We definitely didn't know each other well! 🤣 But 42 years, three daughters, five grandsons, countless joys, sorrows, and other life experiences later, I am pretty confident we know each other as well as anyone can. And we still love/like each other (most of the time.) 🤣
We are opposites in many ways. Fortunately, we agree on most "big things." And eventually learned the little things usually aren't worth fighting about. And we learned to let each other be themselves and how to get along. I give most of the credit to my wife who is a remarkable person/wife/mother and wholly committed to our family.
Marriage isn't easy, but what worthwhile thing is?
Not perfect by any means. No marriage is. Two strong-willed individuals guaranteed conflict from time to time. But I do think we were a good match, each bringing something different to the team. And yes, blessed.
You've captured the inner thoughts that most people have (Or should have) as they approach such a big life decision. You are correct, one can never fully "know" someone, but you can know a lot "about" someone. You may not know in advance that she hogs the couch and puts her bare feet on your lap when you're trying to watch Yellowstone, but that's a minor thing. (Just an example, that doesn't really happen, not every night.) Haha!
Great examples of what things we learn after the wedding... I will never forget: my husband went clamming and left the clams in a bucket of water over night so they would rinse out all the sand inside them. In the morning I saw him reach into the bucket, pull out a clam and bite its neck off when it was still ALIVE and eat it! (Italians like raw clams...) Grounds for divorce right there. Eeeuuuw!
Uggggh!
I know, right? It was all down hill from there...
And for the clam, too!
Clam-itous, I'd say.
🤣 LOL x a million!
Oh my giddy aunt, Sharron! That would be enough to put me off my breakfast - or indeed marriage - any day!
Well, that was the start of a two year list of grievances I kept to myself. ha ha ha
They won't, most likely... my own personal experience...
Not these days anyway. There is very little tolerance for disillusionment now, I think If she's not what you wanted, toss her out and get a new one. Thanks for reading at 🍁Leaves, AT!
So thought-provoking, Sharron!
We took a while to get to know each other both before and after we married. We were pretty long in the tooth for first-time-getting-marrieds - we were 39 and 45 at the time! I wonder if that made a difference? I don't think I would have been ready at a much younger age than that, to be honest! We still make each other laugh, which is so lovely.
Your loving relationship with your husband is evident in your stories. My cynicism, maybe, is reflected in mine... sigh. I am working on changing that.
Thank you so much! But don't knock cynicism - I think a healthy dose of the stuff adds a certain piquancy to writing, Sharron - as well as to any clam dish! 🤣
All right, then! Not sure how healthy mine is, but at my age I do have a LOT of it. Thanks, Rebecca.
Often best not to know. Start off together with a clean slate. : )
You think? Hmmmm. I better think about it a little more! Didn't work for me, but I can sure see how it might be best to have a few secrets....
I imagine most people share these same thoughts! Great job capturing the leap of faith many couples take. What’s the statistic these days? 50% are lucky enough to land safely on the other side? I like how you say it will either work out or it won’t. It really is a coin flip.
Is it possible some women like the idea of a WEDDING and being queen for one day (witness the $1,000s spent!) but are not clear on the meaning of MARRIAGE? Yes, 50% of US marriages end in divorce. Is it maybe due to the lack of religion in their lives? Or is it just because it is so easy to get out of a marriage if you want to? I don't know. ( I didn't realize how much I valued solitude and quiet until after I got married.)
My wife and I dated for about nine month before getting married. We definitely didn't know each other well! 🤣 But 42 years, three daughters, five grandsons, countless joys, sorrows, and other life experiences later, I am pretty confident we know each other as well as anyone can. And we still love/like each other (most of the time.) 🤣
We are opposites in many ways. Fortunately, we agree on most "big things." And eventually learned the little things usually aren't worth fighting about. And we learned to let each other be themselves and how to get along. I give most of the credit to my wife who is a remarkable person/wife/mother and wholly committed to our family.
Marriage isn't easy, but what worthwhile thing is?
Well... YOU make it sound easy. You have had a wonderful life together - it is easy to see. Blessed.
Not perfect by any means. No marriage is. Two strong-willed individuals guaranteed conflict from time to time. But I do think we were a good match, each bringing something different to the team. And yes, blessed.