Not Today
"... this shameful wreckage of a life, this relentless self-blame..."A one-minute story
Not Today
She stands for the longest while on the cliff above the sea. The entire Pacific stretches out before her, a pulsing span of five thousand miles. Below her, lines of rising swells are cresting and shattering on the rocks. She moves a few steps closer to the edge.
How could she have been so wrong? What can be done with what is left of her shameful wreckage of a life, this relentless self-blame? There is no remedy, no possible way to atone!
She looks down into the breaking surf, waiting for the right moment, the exact second when it will be too late to re-decide. Closing her eyes, she inhales deeply, exhales, then once again.
Without warning, a faint spark moves somewhere behind her eyes, and just for an instant, she hears a small voice whisper two words … forgive yourself . It is her own voice.
Slowly turning away from the cliff, she wanders down the steep, rocky slope to her home.
Egad woman! I hope that was never you.
QUOTE How could she have been so wrong? What can be done with what is left of her shameful wreckage of a life, this relentless self-blame? There is no remedy, no possible way to atone!END QUOTE
My own feelings exactly... only I repeat the above almost everyday right here in my concentration camp cubicle in a place I thought I'd never see again... Bloody fool me....