QUOTE How could she have been so wrong? What can be done with what is left of her shameful wreckage of a life, this relentless self-blame? There is no remedy, no possible way to atone!END QUOTE
My own feelings exactly... only I repeat the above almost everyday right here in my concentration camp cubicle in a place I thought I'd never see again... Bloody fool me....
Poignant and beautifully written, as usual! I thought of Monica Lewinsky, how she came out of shame and gave a purpose to her past and re-created her life.
"She looks down into the breaking surf, waiting for the right moment, the exact second when it will be too late to re-decide."
This is where I put my hand over my eyes and read through the gaps between the fingers. Yes, it's hard to forgive oneself but she's already taken the first step of admitting her failures.
Hello, Daniel, welcome! Thanks for coming over to read my Leaves. I appreciate your comment. It compares, I think, to your moving poem "Is it possible to feel alive any more?" and how it " hurts to be hollow". It is tempting to think these things are autobiographical, but mine is not. I hope yours is fictional as well.
It is like that a bit. Just this sense of having no direct source of pain, but that the absence of a source is what's hurting. It really is tempting with ones like this to assume that they are autobiographical, and I'm glad to hear yours isn't. Mine isn't really autobiographical either, but rather just an exaggeration of little feelings
Thank you Sharron. I have had more than one cliff moment in my life, and this is how you move beyond that guilt and shame. A spark of wisdom and grace. You nailed it.
Thank you Rebecca. I am sorry sometimes that I air this sadness out in public. It does ME a world of good, but may push my readers a bit too far. On Wednesday, another Pawd -Cast from Raymond the cat, to lighten your morning. Promise!
Egad woman! I hope that was never you.
That was NEVER me. Thank you, Kate.
QUOTE How could she have been so wrong? What can be done with what is left of her shameful wreckage of a life, this relentless self-blame? There is no remedy, no possible way to atone!END QUOTE
My own feelings exactly... only I repeat the above almost everyday right here in my concentration camp cubicle in a place I thought I'd never see again... Bloody fool me....
She seems to be finding a way to work through the desperation. I have confidence you will as well, my friend.
Ο, I wish... 'cause I'm running out of gas... literally.
Aren't we all...
tears
Poignant and beautifully written, as usual! I thought of Monica Lewinsky, how she came out of shame and gave a purpose to her past and re-created her life.
Interesting thought, Karen!
“Yourself” can be the hardest person to forgive. What did she do? I wonder.
What did she do? Whatever it was, she will no doubt work through it. She is listening. Thanks for the comment, John.
It is surprisingly easy to make a mess of things. Hooray for faint sparks without warning to "forgive yourself". Really enjoyed this, Sharron!
Thank you, James Ron! And thanks so much for re-stacking, my friend
Her own voice had wise words for her. Forgiveness - self-forgiveness is a key factor in moving forward and going on.
Yes. And often very hard to realize. Thanks, Janice.
I knew she was going to turn around.
"She looks down into the breaking surf, waiting for the right moment, the exact second when it will be too late to re-decide."
This is where I put my hand over my eyes and read through the gaps between the fingers. Yes, it's hard to forgive oneself but she's already taken the first step of admitting her failures.
So much story, so few words.
Aw, thank you, Jim. It is natural to us to have regrets, to need to atone. I, myself, have never felt suicidal. So far.
I wish I could link a photo here, but that second picture reminds me so much of Cape Byron, specifically the most easterly point in Australia.
Loved the little story, my favourite line is definitely "a pulsing span of five thousand miles." Such a cool way to describe it
Hello, Daniel, welcome! Thanks for coming over to read my Leaves. I appreciate your comment. It compares, I think, to your moving poem "Is it possible to feel alive any more?" and how it " hurts to be hollow". It is tempting to think these things are autobiographical, but mine is not. I hope yours is fictional as well.
It is like that a bit. Just this sense of having no direct source of pain, but that the absence of a source is what's hurting. It really is tempting with ones like this to assume that they are autobiographical, and I'm glad to hear yours isn't. Mine isn't really autobiographical either, but rather just an exaggeration of little feelings
Love the message that is presented here. I think the most challenging step is already behind her.
Thank you Sharron. I have had more than one cliff moment in my life, and this is how you move beyond that guilt and shame. A spark of wisdom and grace. You nailed it.
Sharron, this moved me to tears - I'm so grateful to you for this post. xxxxxxx
Thank you Rebecca. I am sorry sometimes that I air this sadness out in public. It does ME a world of good, but may push my readers a bit too far. On Wednesday, another Pawd -Cast from Raymond the cat, to lighten your morning. Promise!
I'm glad that you did air it, Sharron. I mean it. 😘
Beautifully done. I think everyone has a moment in their life when they have to make a decision.
Thanks so much, Ben!