28 Comments
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Kate Henry's avatar

Egad woman! I hope that was never you.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

That was NEVER me. Thank you, Kate.

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A.T. Symeonidis's avatar

QUOTE How could she have been so wrong? What can be done with what is left of her shameful wreckage of a life, this relentless self-blame? There is no remedy, no possible way to atone!END QUOTE

My own feelings exactly... only I repeat the above almost everyday right here in my concentration camp cubicle in a place I thought I'd never see again... Bloody fool me....

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

She seems to be finding a way to work through the desperation. I have confidence you will as well, my friend.

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A.T. Symeonidis's avatar

Ο, I wish... 'cause I'm running out of gas... literally.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Aren't we all...

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Karen Kenworthy's avatar

Poignant and beautifully written, as usual! I thought of Monica Lewinsky, how she came out of shame and gave a purpose to her past and re-created her life.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Interesting thought, Karen!

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T. D. Wolf's avatar

“Yourself” can be the hardest person to forgive. What did she do? I wonder.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

What did she do? Whatever it was, she will no doubt work through it. She is listening. Thanks for the comment, John.

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James Ron's avatar

It is surprisingly easy to make a mess of things. Hooray for faint sparks without warning to "forgive yourself". Really enjoyed this, Sharron!

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Thank you, James Ron! And thanks so much for re-stacking, my friend

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Janice Walton's avatar

Her own voice had wise words for her. Forgiveness - self-forgiveness is a key factor in moving forward and going on.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Yes. And often very hard to realize. Thanks, Janice.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I knew she was going to turn around.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

"She looks down into the breaking surf, waiting for the right moment, the exact second when it will be too late to re-decide."

This is where I put my hand over my eyes and read through the gaps between the fingers. Yes, it's hard to forgive oneself but she's already taken the first step of admitting her failures.

So much story, so few words.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Aw, thank you, Jim. It is natural to us to have regrets, to need to atone. I, myself, have never felt suicidal. So far.

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Daniel Barber's avatar

I wish I could link a photo here, but that second picture reminds me so much of Cape Byron, specifically the most easterly point in Australia.

Loved the little story, my favourite line is definitely "a pulsing span of five thousand miles." Such a cool way to describe it

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Hello, Daniel, welcome! Thanks for coming over to read my Leaves. I appreciate your comment. It compares, I think, to your moving poem "Is it possible to feel alive any more?" and how it " hurts to be hollow". It is tempting to think these things are autobiographical, but mine is not. I hope yours is fictional as well.

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Daniel Barber's avatar

It is like that a bit. Just this sense of having no direct source of pain, but that the absence of a source is what's hurting. It really is tempting with ones like this to assume that they are autobiographical, and I'm glad to hear yours isn't. Mine isn't really autobiographical either, but rather just an exaggeration of little feelings

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Justin Deming's avatar

Love the message that is presented here. I think the most challenging step is already behind her.

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Sharon Hudson's avatar

Thank you Sharron. I have had more than one cliff moment in my life, and this is how you move beyond that guilt and shame. A spark of wisdom and grace. You nailed it.

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

Sharron, this moved me to tears - I'm so grateful to you for this post. xxxxxxx

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Thank you Rebecca. I am sorry sometimes that I air this sadness out in public. It does ME a world of good, but may push my readers a bit too far. On Wednesday, another Pawd -Cast from Raymond the cat, to lighten your morning. Promise!

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Rebecca Holden's avatar

I'm glad that you did air it, Sharron. I mean it. 😘

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

Beautifully done. I think everyone has a moment in their life when they have to make a decision.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Thanks so much, Ben!

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