This story has deep roots. Some of those roots not a soul would like to recognize. A father who is dead to the soul? Can he be resurrected? In a two-minute take on his discovery, there is no room or words, as you so eloquently state, for forgiveness nor a new/old father.
I loved your description of his clothes, the line "color of tide pools" especially. What a way to meet a sibling. Public and vulnerable. Such intimate information deserves privacy, although in that tiny bookstores, it was probably where her heart and feeling of safety reside. I can fully understand her reaction, too. What do man expect when they abandon their children? I can see her tearing up the envelope and handing it back to him. "Here's my answer for your father," said through clenched teeth.
And to have that evocative cello music along with this story was the perfect choice. Watching the rapture build up in those two men makes me wonder what it's like to literary feel the music vibrating against one's body from this large instrument. The music is very emotional, but the cello must emphasize it by each stroke of the bow. Powerful.
Thank. you Sue, for your kind, thoughtful words. I appreciate so much when my little truncated stories continue on in a reader's head. So many different scenarios are possible here, I think. Thanks for your comment about the cello piece. Almost took me longer to find the music than to write the story!
I understand the shock she felt but - She should meet / know her father - he has his side to the story- it might not be a good side but still- she doesn’t have to have a (new) relationship with him but he is still her father - in every cell of her body- it would help her to connect to herself - understanding and forgiveness make us free
This story leaves a lot unsaid, and it seems like an appropriate reaction, given the pain of a fatherless child, realizing it was not death that kept him away, it was a choice. Very artfully written, great photos! And the music played the tumultuous realization in the woman’s heart. You aced it, Sharron!
I left the ending soft on purpose. Some readers just jump right in and tell me what they think should happen next -- such variety! I get such a thrill out of engaging readers that way. I do not need 500 readers, Jim. Fifteen seems like a miracle to me. Be well, dear one.
Very touching … the ending hit me like a train, but then I’m an old dad estranged from a daughter so these things tend to sneak up on you. Excellent writing, Sharron … the young man entering the shop - brilliantly described, such good scene-setting - gave no clue about how the story would unfold.
Thank you, Barrie. I am honored by your thoughtful comments. It is always so interesting to me, the wide variety of responses readers have to these tiny stories. I particularly leave things out for the reader to fill in. Your interpretation here was definitely colored by what you bring to the page. As is ALL fiction, of course. As is all art and music. Happy day to you.
Oh, thank you, Amie. I flee from AI, and spend a long time finding the right photo or painting. In fact, they are usually my starting point... I have been experimenting with adding a bit of music, as well. I am not sure if readers respond to it or not. We shall see,
Thank you, Janice. II write many stories with a father-daughter theme, both negative and positive. It is definitely a leitmotif based in my own childhood experience.
Having left the story rather loosely tied, I find it interesting to hear the readers' comments about how THEY would like to see it end... Thank you, Ron.
Well done, Sharron. I thought this was headed for a bookstore romance. Wrong. I understand Caroline's disinterest in her father, but what about her new-found brother? Wouldn't she want to get to know him? Doesn't her mother owe Caroline an explanation? That might be a juicy story to tell.
Yes, this could be a heck of a story to continue. Lots of possibilities- especially the mother's explanation. Glad you liked it -- so far! Happy Sunday to you.
Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder.
No it doesn't. Especially not in the case of abandonment.
This story has deep roots. Some of those roots not a soul would like to recognize. A father who is dead to the soul? Can he be resurrected? In a two-minute take on his discovery, there is no room or words, as you so eloquently state, for forgiveness nor a new/old father.
So poignant.
I love it when one of my little stories causes a reaction like yours, Jill. Thank you.
When you tell someone something, consider what they will have to do with that information. Usually best to keep it to yourself.
In this case, she was given an opportunity. Who knows if she will follow up? Thank you, Kate.
I loved your description of his clothes, the line "color of tide pools" especially. What a way to meet a sibling. Public and vulnerable. Such intimate information deserves privacy, although in that tiny bookstores, it was probably where her heart and feeling of safety reside. I can fully understand her reaction, too. What do man expect when they abandon their children? I can see her tearing up the envelope and handing it back to him. "Here's my answer for your father," said through clenched teeth.
And to have that evocative cello music along with this story was the perfect choice. Watching the rapture build up in those two men makes me wonder what it's like to literary feel the music vibrating against one's body from this large instrument. The music is very emotional, but the cello must emphasize it by each stroke of the bow. Powerful.
Thank. you Sue, for your kind, thoughtful words. I appreciate so much when my little truncated stories continue on in a reader's head. So many different scenarios are possible here, I think. Thanks for your comment about the cello piece. Almost took me longer to find the music than to write the story!
I can really relate to her being "done."
This is so powerful and honest. I imagine many people would react the same way if they were in her shoes. An excellent and compact story, Sharron!
Thank you, Justin. You are my best teacher about the power in keeping things short, my friend.
You’re just making my day over here! Thank you, Sharron. 😀
I understand the shock she felt but - She should meet / know her father - he has his side to the story- it might not be a good side but still- she doesn’t have to have a (new) relationship with him but he is still her father - in every cell of her body- it would help her to connect to herself - understanding and forgiveness make us free
Thank you so much, Laurel, for this thoughtful comment. There are so many possible conclusions here. I loved hearing your ideas!
Ooh, interesting ending, here!
Thank you, Linda. I am going to try to work with all three photos from our writing group prompts this month. I hope others will, too.
A biological father is not the same as a present father. That would be a shocker.
As demonstrated in the poignant song by Kelly Clarkson, Piece by Piece. A dad can be kind, a dad can stay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmMzv9Fen_s&ab_channel=TheKellyClarksonVault
I remember when she sang that on American Idol and choked up. It was heartbreaking.
Yup, that is the one.
I can't help crying every time I hear it. It is too close to home...
I am sorry to hear that. It made me cry, and my Dad didn't leave.
This story leaves a lot unsaid, and it seems like an appropriate reaction, given the pain of a fatherless child, realizing it was not death that kept him away, it was a choice. Very artfully written, great photos! And the music played the tumultuous realization in the woman’s heart. You aced it, Sharron!
Yeow! Thank you, Sharon. And thanks so much for your comments on the rough draft. So helpful!
Too late by far. I’m glad she didn’t waver. Nicely done Sharron.
I left the ending soft on purpose. Some readers just jump right in and tell me what they think should happen next -- such variety! I get such a thrill out of engaging readers that way. I do not need 500 readers, Jim. Fifteen seems like a miracle to me. Be well, dear one.
Very touching … the ending hit me like a train, but then I’m an old dad estranged from a daughter so these things tend to sneak up on you. Excellent writing, Sharron … the young man entering the shop - brilliantly described, such good scene-setting - gave no clue about how the story would unfold.
Thank you, Barrie. I am honored by your thoughtful comments. It is always so interesting to me, the wide variety of responses readers have to these tiny stories. I particularly leave things out for the reader to fill in. Your interpretation here was definitely colored by what you bring to the page. As is ALL fiction, of course. As is all art and music. Happy day to you.
The artwork you chose is as exquisite as the story
Oh, thank you, Amie. I flee from AI, and spend a long time finding the right photo or painting. In fact, they are usually my starting point... I have been experimenting with adding a bit of music, as well. I am not sure if readers respond to it or not. We shall see,
Hi Sharron, What a powerful story.
Thank you, Janice. II write many stories with a father-daughter theme, both negative and positive. It is definitely a leitmotif based in my own childhood experience.
Hi Sharron, So poignant and heartfelt.
Good one, Sharron. I kind of wanted Caroline to meet up with her father, but I think I can understand her position on it. - always like 2CELLOS!
Having left the story rather loosely tied, I find it interesting to hear the readers' comments about how THEY would like to see it end... Thank you, Ron.
Well done, Sharron. I thought this was headed for a bookstore romance. Wrong. I understand Caroline's disinterest in her father, but what about her new-found brother? Wouldn't she want to get to know him? Doesn't her mother owe Caroline an explanation? That might be a juicy story to tell.
Yes, this could be a heck of a story to continue. Lots of possibilities- especially the mother's explanation. Glad you liked it -- so far! Happy Sunday to you.