A curious take. As soon as he knew where you were, even after decades, he sent you a birthday card, on your actual birthday. When he died, he left you all his worldly goods, $300 was everything he had, he wanted it to be yours. He neither forgot you, nor felt pointless guilt, he evidently did not have a comfortable life. Perhaps shame was a familiar feeling for him.
Millions of parents in the world, mothers and fathers, walk away from children without a backwards glance, often with no feelings, and it never has anything to do with the child. Adults are flawed. Humans are flawed.
We survive a lot of stuff that should have crushed us to dust. Your Mom was a beauty her whole life and passed that and her heart to you. There was double love from her, so you grew up with just one puzzle piece waiting. That one was so small no one noticed it except you two. You painted over the space with a color called Amazing. Hugses K
There is an objective way to look at this (which an outsider might try to do) and there is the subjective way to look at this (which is only available to the person experiencing it). They are not the same.
I remember reading this way back when, yet reading it again gives me the same sad feelings.
Oh, Sharron, this was such a painful but beautifully told story. I ache for you and can't begin to imagine ... The title, so apt. I'm sure posting it today, Veterans day, was purely intentional. Reading it took me back to the first story I read of yours; "Two Fathers-No Dad" (I think that was the title).
"But three hundred dollars was not what I needed." Definitely. Dear Lord!!! This sounds SO FAMILIAR (long story). But you're out there creating, finding new friends, and enjoying life. Dad couldn't bury you. Be well dear friend and continue writing stories of hope, love, and a brighter future....
This is very touching to me, mostly because I can relate. I think your dad did love you and have all those feelings you'd wondered if he had. But I also think estranged dads don't know how to come back after a long absence. We think it's as simple as coming back. In his mind it may have been guilt and shame that kept him away.
I never made peace with my estranged father until the day I got a call from some distant relatives that he was on life support and would never come out. So I made the choice to go to the hospital and be there for his last breath. What was interesting to me is that when I showed up, held his comatose hand, and told him it was me, his heart monitor fluctuated significantly. I believe he understood I was there. And I understood what forgiveness felt like.
He was just a lost man who didn't know how to be a dad.
Hey Sharron. What someone doesn't give seems to insure those we love never get the same. Thankful for you, for your mom, for your light and courage. You scatter beautiful leaves everywhere. 🍁
Gosh, Sharron. Just gosh. I'm sending you so much love. What a remarkable story. Please claim extra big hugs from me when we meet. ♥️♥️♥️
A curious take. As soon as he knew where you were, even after decades, he sent you a birthday card, on your actual birthday. When he died, he left you all his worldly goods, $300 was everything he had, he wanted it to be yours. He neither forgot you, nor felt pointless guilt, he evidently did not have a comfortable life. Perhaps shame was a familiar feeling for him.
Millions of parents in the world, mothers and fathers, walk away from children without a backwards glance, often with no feelings, and it never has anything to do with the child. Adults are flawed. Humans are flawed.
We survive a lot of stuff that should have crushed us to dust. Your Mom was a beauty her whole life and passed that and her heart to you. There was double love from her, so you grew up with just one puzzle piece waiting. That one was so small no one noticed it except you two. You painted over the space with a color called Amazing. Hugses K
There is an objective way to look at this (which an outsider might try to do) and there is the subjective way to look at this (which is only available to the person experiencing it). They are not the same.
I remember reading this way back when, yet reading it again gives me the same sad feelings.
You are awesome, Sharron.
Still a poignant piece at this second reading, Sharron. Absolutely hits the heart. Especially at the ending.
The pink satin baby book; a photo in a sock drawer. Lingering images, layered nuance. Gorgeous snippet, Sharron.
Oh, Sharron, this was such a painful but beautifully told story. I ache for you and can't begin to imagine ... The title, so apt. I'm sure posting it today, Veterans day, was purely intentional. Reading it took me back to the first story I read of yours; "Two Fathers-No Dad" (I think that was the title).
Sending you virtual hugs. x
Sometimes I just have to shake my head. People can say that it has nothing to do with the child but try telling that to the child.
He missed out on so much when he ran away. But I have no sympathy for him.
You had a beautiful, supportive mother. You are rich in that regard.
That's a tough beginning. I'd bet there was guilt. Perhaps even punishment that he brought upon himself. He could neither face it nor forget it.
"But three hundred dollars was not what I needed." Definitely. Dear Lord!!! This sounds SO FAMILIAR (long story). But you're out there creating, finding new friends, and enjoying life. Dad couldn't bury you. Be well dear friend and continue writing stories of hope, love, and a brighter future....
This is very touching to me, mostly because I can relate. I think your dad did love you and have all those feelings you'd wondered if he had. But I also think estranged dads don't know how to come back after a long absence. We think it's as simple as coming back. In his mind it may have been guilt and shame that kept him away.
I never made peace with my estranged father until the day I got a call from some distant relatives that he was on life support and would never come out. So I made the choice to go to the hospital and be there for his last breath. What was interesting to me is that when I showed up, held his comatose hand, and told him it was me, his heart monitor fluctuated significantly. I believe he understood I was there. And I understood what forgiveness felt like.
He was just a lost man who didn't know how to be a dad.
Hey Sharron. What someone doesn't give seems to insure those we love never get the same. Thankful for you, for your mom, for your light and courage. You scatter beautiful leaves everywhere. 🍁
I feel lucky to read your work, Sharron, and hear your stories. Keep shining that light!
How very sad for each of them.