Hello Sharron. I read this back in '23 and was glad you reposted. It's a treasured memory. I imagine that most of us have something similar tucked away in our hearts that occasionally whispers, "What if?"
Always a thoughtful piece, Sharron, on how things like this affect a child. So many dads walked away during the '30s, I know, as my dad's dad did the same thing, leaving when my dad was 3 or 4, and it affected him all his life, too.
November, 2023, seems long ago and yet, just like yesterday. I remember this one, Sharron. my mother's dad did the same thing. It serves to make those left behind stronger. They have no choice.
Its a good thing we start out with two parents. ONe of them might actually BE a parent. Very few keep both with good result. Didn't happen here either.
My story is the same, Sharon. Luckily, my mom found the live of her life when I was three, and a few months later he married her, adopted me, and became my father. He was the best father to me, and I never wondered about my “real” father until I was older. I never even got to hear his name or see a picture of him. So now that he's dead, ill never know those things either. At least you had a card from yours and a memory or two.
That's for sure Sharron. yes, physically I am doing very well. My left hand will probably need surgery again in the future, but for now I am beyond blessed considering the impact.
Wondering and caring and mothering: such empathetic female yearnings. Do men carry or bury them? Male prerogatives and needs to protect used to be built into their culture, especially those who served in the armed forces. They often, (I don't want to generalize), did and saw things they did NOT want to share with families. As a former psychologist for many men who experienced PSTD after wars, I saw, heard, and felt so many terrors of what the human race was capable of: it's hard to know. One way is not the only "right" way to help, or understand.
He sent a message and signed it with love: in that you were blessed!
WOW! Indeed, did he feel any guilt at all. Sounds like he didn't have much gumption to do much more than odd jobs and ranch work. He probably didn't put a lot of effort into that either. It's odd he was never deployed. I wonder if that had a negative affect on his psyche. Or did he feel like he got off scott-free from serving his country too. So many questions and a good story to bring them forth here. You were lucky to have Katy. She knew how to survive the betrayals of the men in her life. I'm sorry this pain is still with you, though. Damn!
He was an alcoholic, sad to say. The army did not want him, and mustered him out, and I am sure it made finding serious work difficult. All children carry pain deep inside them, I am pretty sure.
I remembered this one and almost couldn't bear to read it again. I can't imagine ever walking away from my kids but I know it happens. In the end, it was you father's loss. You and Katy did well. Throwing that card away was a liberation for you.
Katy and I were the best of buddies for our entire lives. We sure had our ups and downs, but we rode them out together. I still have a few more stories to tell about her and her life. Thanks for your note, my friend.
That was a tough one to read, Sharron. I don't know why he sent it after all those years if he wasn't willing to keep in touch after that. But it was probably for the best. You were an adult by then, past the time you really needed his love. Fortunately, you had Katy for a mother and she raised you well.
Hello Sharron. I read this back in '23 and was glad you reposted. It's a treasured memory. I imagine that most of us have something similar tucked away in our hearts that occasionally whispers, "What if?"
Oh, I am sure we do, Heather. So nice to hear from you. I hope you are well and content, my friend.
Always a thoughtful piece, Sharron, on how things like this affect a child. So many dads walked away during the '30s, I know, as my dad's dad did the same thing, leaving when my dad was 3 or 4, and it affected him all his life, too.
Thanks, Linda, for this thoughtful, personal comment.
November, 2023, seems long ago and yet, just like yesterday. I remember this one, Sharron. my mother's dad did the same thing. It serves to make those left behind stronger. They have no choice.
I believe you are exactly right, Ron. It builds our strength and independence. Nice to hear from you.
💚💚💚💚💚
Thank you, Jack.
Its a good thing we start out with two parents. ONe of them might actually BE a parent. Very few keep both with good result. Didn't happen here either.
Sad and true.
My story is the same, Sharon. Luckily, my mom found the live of her life when I was three, and a few months later he married her, adopted me, and became my father. He was the best father to me, and I never wondered about my “real” father until I was older. I never even got to hear his name or see a picture of him. So now that he's dead, ill never know those things either. At least you had a card from yours and a memory or two.
Thank you, Kim, for sharing this story. Sounds like it all worked out in the end for you. (And me, as well.) I appreciate your comments so much.
Beautiful but bittersweet sweet. Sometimes, love doesn’t give us much.
Thank you, Switter. You still out on the trail?
Home for a few days.
Sharron, this made me cry. Hit too close to home.
Ah, I am sorry to hear it, Kathleen. I think it is the story of far too many children. But we survived and thrived. Right?
Absolutely we did survive. I am currently reading.
The Choice, By Dr. Edith Eva Eger. A memoir of surviving Auschwitz.
It is similar to Victor Frankl Memoir.
Heart wrenching, and yet positive reading. Someone suggested I read it because of my PTSD from my car accident last year. It has been such a help.
I hope you have returned to health, Kathleen. How our lives can change in one second!
That's for sure Sharron. yes, physically I am doing very well. My left hand will probably need surgery again in the future, but for now I am beyond blessed considering the impact.
Brave girl! It's a hard thing to put behind you, I know.
Wondering and caring and mothering: such empathetic female yearnings. Do men carry or bury them? Male prerogatives and needs to protect used to be built into their culture, especially those who served in the armed forces. They often, (I don't want to generalize), did and saw things they did NOT want to share with families. As a former psychologist for many men who experienced PSTD after wars, I saw, heard, and felt so many terrors of what the human race was capable of: it's hard to know. One way is not the only "right" way to help, or understand.
He sent a message and signed it with love: in that you were blessed!
Thank you for sharing these thoughts with me, Jill. You are a very kind soul.
WOW! Indeed, did he feel any guilt at all. Sounds like he didn't have much gumption to do much more than odd jobs and ranch work. He probably didn't put a lot of effort into that either. It's odd he was never deployed. I wonder if that had a negative affect on his psyche. Or did he feel like he got off scott-free from serving his country too. So many questions and a good story to bring them forth here. You were lucky to have Katy. She knew how to survive the betrayals of the men in her life. I'm sorry this pain is still with you, though. Damn!
He was an alcoholic, sad to say. The army did not want him, and mustered him out, and I am sure it made finding serious work difficult. All children carry pain deep inside them, I am pretty sure.
Appreciate the resilience of you and your mom. You've blessed us with so many adventures, laughter and joy. He's missed treasure, Sharron.
Yes, Ron. I have had a pretty great life, I have to say. Very few regrets. And, yes, it was his loss. Thanks so much for your comments.
I remembered this one and almost couldn't bear to read it again. I can't imagine ever walking away from my kids but I know it happens. In the end, it was you father's loss. You and Katy did well. Throwing that card away was a liberation for you.
Katy and I were the best of buddies for our entire lives. We sure had our ups and downs, but we rode them out together. I still have a few more stories to tell about her and her life. Thanks for your note, my friend.
It is a sad story. Luck has it that your mother was Katy.
Thank you! Yes, she was the best mom ever. She took good care of me as a child and when she got old I took good care of her. As it should be.
That was a tough one to read, Sharron. I don't know why he sent it after all those years if he wasn't willing to keep in touch after that. But it was probably for the best. You were an adult by then, past the time you really needed his love. Fortunately, you had Katy for a mother and she raised you well.
I was a lucky child to have Katy. Times were hard in my childhood, but her love never failed us kids.