Week after next is the next chapter, and the chapter after that will be about the meetup in New Orleans. I'll send you a draft as it nears for your thuoghts. Thank you for the restack! : ) You are very kind.
Next time some pipe smokin', leather-patch elbowed tweed-jacketed writing professor tells me "show, don't tell," I plan to ask her to show, don't tell me just exactly what she means by that.
Euw! I don't think you want to know the details of what these bored young men and women get up to after dark, in parked cars, behind the bowling alley... I know I don't.
The only change I might make in the story is to rename Janna. Sally would rhyme better, as in "In the back alley / with Sally. Sorry. Sometimes I just say things.
And is the alley behind the bowling alley some kind of next level double entendre?
Janna made Stymie think about the motorcycle chick in "The Jerk". Gave him room for pause.
Good one, Sharron! : )
Thanks so much, James! Hey! You working on Jimmy Swann?
Week after next is the next chapter, and the chapter after that will be about the meetup in New Orleans. I'll send you a draft as it nears for your thuoghts. Thank you for the restack! : ) You are very kind.
You've got some very strange people in your head. Good thing you can let them out on the paper.
))K
Yes, a very good thing. I am not even half way through the mess in my head. Therapy.
For me, Draino worked the best.
Drastic measures.
I think this young man was wise to follow his intuition. Nice one Sharron!
Maybe. On the other hand, on a slow night, just hanging out in front of the 7 Eleven, it might be worth the risk. Just saying.
You have a flair for writing dialogue.
Thank you, David. I have been admonished to "show, not tell". I try using dialogue to meet that end. Not always successful, though.
Next time some pipe smokin', leather-patch elbowed tweed-jacketed writing professor tells me "show, don't tell," I plan to ask her to show, don't tell me just exactly what she means by that.
Super! Question Authority!
No fair.... now I want to know what happened. And I agree with Kate... strange people indeed.
Rats! Now what am I going to do? I have to hope these kids speak to me again, I guess.
Wise person that Frankie . .
Yeah. Maybe he has learned his lesson before. Who knows? Thanks Janice, for reading this foolishness.
Uuugh, I wanna know what happened???! 😘
You sure? What are these bored city kids up to? Might horrify me if I knew. Hah!
😂
Fun!
Thanks, Connie. Challenging myself to write from a young male point of view. I don't quite have it yet.
Oh gosh, this story is asking me all kinds of questions, Sharron!
Euw! I don't think you want to know the details of what these bored young men and women get up to after dark, in parked cars, behind the bowling alley... I know I don't.
You're right! I'm telling my brain to change the subject right now, Sharron! 😁
Boy or boy have I ever lived a sheltered life. 😇
Not hardly.
I made only 1 typo in 10 words. I'm on a roll.
Now you're talking! However, for errors using Lie and Lay, Igive no quarter. Marks off! Fair warning.
The only change I might make in the story is to rename Janna. Sally would rhyme better, as in "In the back alley / with Sally. Sorry. Sometimes I just say things.
And is the alley behind the bowling alley some kind of next level double entendre?
.....maybe.
Stymie got stymied!
If he did, he's keeping it to himself.
I dunno Sharron; I'm just trying to keep it movin' with my slushy coffee! Funny story!
Ha ha ha Thanks, Ron!