Maurice's Day Book
Sparrow. My favorite mid-morning snack... FOUR MINUTES
**From the Archive of June 2023 only for my ailurophile subscribers..
Maurice’s Day Book
3:00 a.m. I went out for a couple hours before dawn to secretly monitor the dark ferns and hedges and to secure the back alley. Stealth is my game. Nothing to report.
5:00 I encouraged Bruce to wake up and prepare my breakfast. He was reluctant, as usual. I sat on his chest.
Raced around the house skidding into things, shredded the TV guide, knocked the remote off the recliner and rattled a saucer on the coffee table. Bruce got up.
5:10 Licked all the gravy off the food that Bruce put in my bowl, but left the disgusting inedible solid bits. Where does he find this stuff? I politely negotiated for more gravy, but was refused.
6:00 Heard the garbage truck coming down the alley and hid under the bed until all danger had passed. I am no fool.
6:30 Stared out the window at the morning birds - juncos and finches, and made chattering noises. This uncontrollable vocal behavior is encoded in my DNA since the time of the Smilodon fatalis .
7:00 Jumped onto Bruce’s lap while he was reading the newspaper, rolled over on my back and flung my legs out wide for my daily belly brushing. It is a bonding ritual I do for Bruce. It makes him feel needed.
9:00 Quick snooze on the sun-warmed bench.
9:30 Moved to the shade of the hostas to finish my nap. Groomed my ears and face.
10:00 Stalked a sparrow that was scratching in the dirt looking for seeds. Pounced and missed! Too bad. Sparrow is my favorite mid-morning snack.
11:00 Drank out of the birdbath. The algae adds a fresh, greeny zest. Watched a large black beetle crawl over a root. Ate it. Not bad. Crunchy.
12:00 Dragged a large fern frond into the house through the cat door and left it on the kitchen floor for Bruce. He might find it an interesting specimen to add to his collection.
The abandoned breakfast bits still sat in my bowl. I sang a song for something more palatable, but again, nothing for it. “Sorry, Maurie,” he said. He calls me Maurie.
Caught a gopher. Ate the head and left the rest on the kitchen floor. Maybe Bruce will make us a rodent stew. With gravy.
1:00 Tried to nap outside on the window ledge, but the towhees were unusually annoying. Slipped behind the azalea to escape their beaky threats.
Went in for lunch for the second time and appealed to Bruce to be reasonable. He cleaned my bowl and opened a new can. Tuna Delight. I licked up the gravy, but left the lumpy flakes in the bottom of the bowl. I mean, seriously? Who eats that?
Darted back and forth, up and down the hallway at an ultra high speed for two frenzied minutes, banging into doors and chairs. These sudden, short outbursts are a part of my genetic memory from prehistoric Smilodon ancestors who were constantly chased by huge, nasty Epicyon canines. Bruce explained it to me.
2:00 Bruce looked bored, so I entertained him by trying to catch the fuzzy chicken on a string. It is demeaning, but it’s in my Housemates Agreement and obligatory.
3:00 -6:00 Nap Rounds: Slept in the sunny grass, slept on the chair, on the sofa, on the bathroom carpet and in the closet on Bruce’s Adidas.
7.00 Found a large blue rubber band in the yard, brought it in and hid it behind the couch. Bruce takes these chewy things away from me. He has the oddest rules sometimes.
9:00 My favorite time of day. Went out to explore in the green house shadows where I am invisible, and carried out surveillance in the dark alley across the back fence. All clear.
10:00 The end of another day. Left off my night patrolling to join Bruce in his bed. He is a bit needy. Doesn’t like to sleep alone. I don’t mind it. He’s a good source of heat.
Thank you, 🌿Leaves readers! I only have four copies left of my novel, Bartle Clunes, and will not be reprinting. It would make a fine Xmas present for someone you love. The entire story, of course, will remain on Substack, chapter by chapter HERE . A brief introduction to Bartle Clunes is HERE .
If you would like a paper copy, send me an email. bassanois@cruzio.com. They are $20 plus postage.
"Bruce looked bored, so I entertained him by trying to catch the fuzzy chicken on a string."..such a cat thing!! I love the way "Maurie" does his favorite things "for Bruce."
Maurice fits the finicky feline lifestyle follows the trails and scent, patrols his territory, grabs a bite to eat beetle crunch Halloween treat. Set in ways only an owner can enjoy. But wandering around I hope no coyotes to be found. Saber tooth lions are gone. Watch him more closely.