Mayhem on Six Wheels - Metro 1
Riding on the Santa Cruz Metro bus... *A two-minute read
DISCLAIMER: This is a true account. It uses language that may be very offensive to you, but without the language, there’s no story.Caution!
He lurches onto the bus wearing a green knit cap and a greasy denim jacket. His glasses are held together with tape, his shoes have no laces. He carries a sour smell on board with him, and I am guessing he is having a sad day. Or a sad life.
A woman slides her shopping bag out of his way saying, “Sorry.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he barks loudly. Startled, she shakes her head and looks away. Other riders glance up at the disruption and look at him. He shouts to no one in particular, “Stop looking at me and everyone … just shut the fuck up!”
A beefy, bearded man wearing yellow shoes and a dirty T-shirt, loudly objects. “You shut the fuck up, man! No one’s bothering you!”
“No you shut the fuck up!”
“No you shut the fuck up, or I’ll smash your face in!”
“I’ll smash your face in, so shut the fuck up and stop looking at me.”
Who are these guys, I wonder, mutant eighth graders? Are these the only words they have at their command? Have they no other decibel options? I notice riders taking out their phones in anticipation of witnessing a loud, newsworthy confrontation, hoping, no doubt, that it will accelerate into something sensational that they can post online.
“I’m not looking at you, so you shut the fuck up,” the yellow shoes guy roars. He stands up with a menacing stare.
“ No you shut the fuck up and stop taking pictures!” the green cap guy booms. He is about to spontaneously combust.
A young woman with purple hair and a bright red sweater speaks calmly from a few seats away, “This is a public bus. You are both being inappropriate. We have the right to ride this bus in peace, so please — stop it!”
They both turn to her and shout, “Shut the fuck up, bitch!”
Her face turns as purple as her hair. “No, you shut the fuck up!” she screeches. “Get off the bus! This is inappropriate behavior! Get off the bus! Driver, get these guys off the bus. I don’t feel safe!”
“Yeah!” from a couple of people in the back. “Get off the bus!”
“No, you get off the fucking bus!”
I feel like I am locked in a mobile psych ward. The bus driver pulls over to the curb and leaves his seat.. “Everyone settle down or I will put all three of you off the bus. I am not telling you again. Quiet down or you’re getting off.” He goes back up front and resumes the journey.
The tension is palpable, accompanied by seething and snarly glares. Nobody speaks. For about 30 seconds.
Then green-cap guy mumbles, “You all better stop looking at me.”
That mumble is all it takes. Like dynamite, yellow-shoes guy explodes. “Shut the fuck up or I will fucking break you in half,” he bellows.
“Oh yeah? Come on then, you son-of-a-bitch! I’ll take you DOWN!” But neither one leaves their seat. Apparently, verbal abuse is the extent of their commitment to the issue.
Purple hair woman yells hysterically, “Driver! Driver! Throw these guys off now, or I’m calling the police.” Everyone aims their cameras.
“Shut the fuck up, lady, this is none of your business,” shouts yellow-shoes guy.
No one gets physical, but the loud, animal-like growls and threats continue for another mile. I make the wise decision to get off at the next corner, and walk the last half mile home.
The irony? This is my first day riding the Metro. I just sold my car yesterday, opting to switch to public transportation — a major “no-turning-back” life change for me.
I never envisioned the adventures that might await me on the Santa Cruz Metro. Is every ride like this one? If so, I can see I am going to have to toughen up. Or lay in a supply of cannabis.
**My second day out on the metro buses was just as educational, very entertaining, and much less violent. Check out day two HERE .
Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Here's a de-escalation technique that I've used in similar situations that sometimes works. Whatever the agressors beef is, I say this: "Dude, I've got a serious question for you. What's your favorite dinosaur?" This total non-sequiter often throws a person out of their immediate rage cycle. A lot of times I get a "why the fuck do you want to know that?" and I meekly say, "I'm curious, I ask everybody that." This gets the initial rager thinking that I'm crazy (but non-confrontational) and often they answer by naming a dinosaur. Whatever they say, I respond with "That's a good one" and say "Mine's a pteranodon, 'cause they could fly." In a situation like a crowded bus, you can get the whole crowd discussing dinosaurs sometimes.
My little town has no busses, no taxis, no uber. Sounds like that's a good thing. Take your own car or bike or walk. Its 4 miles to town and 5 miles to the other side. Stay home if there's 2foot snow.
That DID sound a bit like school bus back in the 50s.