I got a chill there at the end. I like the way you lead the reader to understand that something apocalyptic has occurred but leave it to us to imagine what. The story is what happens afterwards. This is a great study of human nature. Well done!
Yeow! Thanks so much Jim. I personally think the story is finished as it is, leaving the rest to the readers' imaginations. I am waiting to see if a part 2 comes to me, but not sure it will.
I think you are right, Janice. Sometimes surrendering is the only thing you can do for your own peace of mind ... the accepting of what cannot be changed. I am glad you reacted to this little tale.
The final two or three lines gave me chills! I love this story, and fear that we may be heading down this road sooner than later. Speaking of The Road...I was getting serious Cormac McCarthy vibes reading this. This story is so dark and sad and beautiful all at the same time. If you don’t continue with this particular story, I hope you visit this genre again soon!
I have not read Cormac McCarthy. Want to recommend the one I should start with? ( not too gory...please ) BTW, I decided to write part 2 of Surrender. It took me to place completely out of my experience, I have to say.
Hmm, maybe start with The Road. It’s right around 250-300 pages. It’s the story of a father and son trying to survive in post-apocalyptic America. It’s dark and bleak, but the relationship between the two characters- and their undying love for one another - offers slivers of hope.
I also love McCarthy’s Border trilogy (dealing with the Texas/Mexico border). The first book in that series is called All the Pretty Horses...definitely worth a read!
Sorry Sharron, for some reason I never received notification of your response! Let me know what you think of his books/writing. I’ve never watched All the Pretty Horses, but I’ve heard wonderful things. (I believe young Matt Damon is in it, too, but I could be wrong.)
I like Hamish. You have a knack for characters! Excellent, compelling start, too.
"He sees nothing but peaty water bubbling across stones, the thin forest of scraggled pines, the broad expanse of the wet moorland in the distance." I can picture it clearly and yet my mind somehow jumped to Hound of Baskerville, the treacherous moor, stay away from the moor! Also, clever cliffhanger! We must read on.
Yes. I thought the story ended here and was content. But several readers insisted I keep going. So I just waited to see what Hamish would do next... You ever get the feeling that when you write you are not in charge?
Writers who are in charge only get in the way of the story. :) Let the characters do what they must do, I love to be surprised by them. What will they do next? That's where the fun is.
It's a mystery. :) I strongly believe that finding one's voice is not a matter of control but letting go and not being afraid of what you find, go all the way, not holding back. Scary.
Right you are. But I still find my self holding back on the sexual stuff or the stuff of abuse. I could be explicit, but I never let myself be. I wonder why?
It's only natural, once you stare long enough into that abyss... plus, as a writer there are always the ethical and moral implications that need to be considered. If there is an important story to tell, I think it must be told truthfully. As ugly as it may be, warts and all.
Wow, how the heck did you come up with this one. I loved how you did the dialog for the characters. I will be thinking about this for a while ...
Great! Thanks for the vote of confidence, Scott. This speculative stuff is new to me. Once again, this idea started with a photo.
Oh this story line hooked me in!
Will there be more?
Hmmmm. I hope so, Marsha. Still waiting for it to be revealed to me. ha ha ha. Stand by.
I am looking forward to the movie version. 🤓
Yes! Me too. I guess I better get working on part two... Thanks for reading my stuff, Mark. I am honored.
If a story seems like it could be a movie or a tv show, then I consider it a success.🤣
My spine is tingling, Sharron! Consider me intrigued....!
Oh, goodie! Thanks, Rebecca. I have written very little of the speculative genre. I am not too old to figure it out. (Am I?)
You most certainly are not too old for anything, Sharron! Seize the moment!
I got a chill there at the end. I like the way you lead the reader to understand that something apocalyptic has occurred but leave it to us to imagine what. The story is what happens afterwards. This is a great study of human nature. Well done!
Yeow! Thanks so much Jim. I personally think the story is finished as it is, leaving the rest to the readers' imaginations. I am waiting to see if a part 2 comes to me, but not sure it will.
Well it was a good read either way. Enjoyed it.
Gave me a little initiative…
For me - it is a haunting story - about change and loss and giving up. It brought tears to my eyes
I think you are right, Janice. Sometimes surrendering is the only thing you can do for your own peace of mind ... the accepting of what cannot be changed. I am glad you reacted to this little tale.
The final two or three lines gave me chills! I love this story, and fear that we may be heading down this road sooner than later. Speaking of The Road...I was getting serious Cormac McCarthy vibes reading this. This story is so dark and sad and beautiful all at the same time. If you don’t continue with this particular story, I hope you visit this genre again soon!
Wow! Thanks! I am hoping part two will come along for this one. If not, then maybe another. I have one last story about my mom, Katy, to finish first.
I have not read Cormac McCarthy. Want to recommend the one I should start with? ( not too gory...please ) BTW, I decided to write part 2 of Surrender. It took me to place completely out of my experience, I have to say.
Ooh, I’m excited to read part two!
Hmm, maybe start with The Road. It’s right around 250-300 pages. It’s the story of a father and son trying to survive in post-apocalyptic America. It’s dark and bleak, but the relationship between the two characters- and their undying love for one another - offers slivers of hope.
I also love McCarthy’s Border trilogy (dealing with the Texas/Mexico border). The first book in that series is called All the Pretty Horses...definitely worth a read!
I ordered The Road. I also see there is a movie, directed by Billy Bob Thornton, of All the Pretty Horses. I might try that tonight. Thanks!
Sorry Sharron, for some reason I never received notification of your response! Let me know what you think of his books/writing. I’ve never watched All the Pretty Horses, but I’ve heard wonderful things. (I believe young Matt Damon is in it, too, but I could be wrong.)
I'm behind in my reading, so I won't have to wait for Part 2... this is eerily good, Sharron!
Here I go...can't wait to read the next part!
I’ll catch up on parts 2 and 3 tomorrow, but I like it so far!
Great! Thank you, Kim. I thought I'd finished at the end of part one. Apparently not... I hope you like how it turned out.
I like Hamish. You have a knack for characters! Excellent, compelling start, too.
"He sees nothing but peaty water bubbling across stones, the thin forest of scraggled pines, the broad expanse of the wet moorland in the distance." I can picture it clearly and yet my mind somehow jumped to Hound of Baskerville, the treacherous moor, stay away from the moor! Also, clever cliffhanger! We must read on.
Yes. I thought the story ended here and was content. But several readers insisted I keep going. So I just waited to see what Hamish would do next... You ever get the feeling that when you write you are not in charge?
Writers who are in charge only get in the way of the story. :) Let the characters do what they must do, I love to be surprised by them. What will they do next? That's where the fun is.
I agree! I am shocked sometimes by the crude vocabulary my characters use sometimes. Words I myself would never use. How do I even know them? ha ha ha
It's a mystery. :) I strongly believe that finding one's voice is not a matter of control but letting go and not being afraid of what you find, go all the way, not holding back. Scary.
Right you are. But I still find my self holding back on the sexual stuff or the stuff of abuse. I could be explicit, but I never let myself be. I wonder why?
It's only natural, once you stare long enough into that abyss... plus, as a writer there are always the ethical and moral implications that need to be considered. If there is an important story to tell, I think it must be told truthfully. As ugly as it may be, warts and all.