I love both versions, Sharron! In this instance I like the 150-worder more by a sliver because it adds an extra dimension to the story, and it shows how far she is willing to go in an effort to save him.
Also, I enjoy when you share different versions of the same story. It opens up a fun dialogue! And thanks as always for the shoutout, my friend.
I like them both. I wonder if I had read "Redemption" first if that would make a difference to my thinking but I like "Broken" most. It leaves the most room for me to fill in the details. However, the more details of the 150 do draw me in.
Very powerful. It's shows the labyrinth of mental illness and how deep it can engulf someone and only one person can pull that cord that guides them through it.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Sue. I intended this short piece to be about mental illness, but I know it can be interpreted many different ways.
I like them both, Sharron. But I would have to say, the second one is my favorite. The first carries a big punch. The second allows me to get to know the redeemer a little better. I, in my life, have been the redeemed, and this story lets me appreciate my redeemer all the more. Thanks for a powerful look at mental illness.
Thank you, my sister. We, all of us, have to seek redemption in our lives at one time or another. If only everyone could be as lucky as you, to have a faithful and true partner, one who took his vows very seriously. It does my heart good to see how much you love each other. Even though it is often to the point of breaking into song!
Awww, thank you, Patrick. What a sweet thing to say. I want to thank you so much for looking around at 🌿 Leaves and reading so many of my archived stories!. Hardly any one takes the time to do that and it is much appreciated. By the way, I love your icon photo of the two dozing friends on the sunny sofa. Beautiful lighting on a peaceful scene.
I love both versions, Sharron! In this instance I like the 150-worder more by a sliver because it adds an extra dimension to the story, and it shows how far she is willing to go in an effort to save him.
Also, I enjoy when you share different versions of the same story. It opens up a fun dialogue! And thanks as always for the shoutout, my friend.
Thanks, my NY friend. for taking time out of your week-end to comment! I know Saturdays are precious.
2nd one!
Okay, then - noted!
50: one stupid person
150: two stupid people
Brain transplant for both.
I love the different interpretations of my little pieces - and the kinds of emotions they evoke! Thanks, Kate.
I like them both. I wonder if I had read "Redemption" first if that would make a difference to my thinking but I like "Broken" most. It leaves the most room for me to fill in the details. However, the more details of the 150 do draw me in.
So, great! Two different reactions. I appreciate that, James Ron. Thanks!
Fifty shade of gray. Mysterious way left to reader’s imagination. I see one of three Fates cutting the cord.
Possibly all three of the Fates, Richard --Clotho (the spinner), Lachesis (the allotter), and Atropos ( death.) But let us hope it is Clotho.
The youngest with the shears. Cuts the iris.
Very powerful. It's shows the labyrinth of mental illness and how deep it can engulf someone and only one person can pull that cord that guides them through it.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Sue. I intended this short piece to be about mental illness, but I know it can be interpreted many different ways.
I like the first one better. It leaves more to the imagination.
Yes. I myself , as a reader, prefer open-ended sorts of stories where the details must be supplied by the reader.
The first one belongs as a book jacket lead in. The second one gets me more involved and interested. Love your creativity and imagination.
Cool, Wade. Thanks for thinking about the question! And I appreciate the compliment.
Sharron, I would say the second story . . . as Justin says there is more too it. Very poignant both ways.
I think the second one is more easily interpreted. Maybe.
I liked both as well!
I like them both, Sharron. But I would have to say, the second one is my favorite. The first carries a big punch. The second allows me to get to know the redeemer a little better. I, in my life, have been the redeemed, and this story lets me appreciate my redeemer all the more. Thanks for a powerful look at mental illness.
Thank you, my sister. We, all of us, have to seek redemption in our lives at one time or another. If only everyone could be as lucky as you, to have a faithful and true partner, one who took his vows very seriously. It does my heart good to see how much you love each other. Even though it is often to the point of breaking into song!
I feel very lucky, and sometimes break into a dance, as well....ha ha
150.
Thanks, Bob, for your vote! And welcome to 🌿Leaves. Thanks for stopping by.
Describing your talent with words eclipses my talents with words. 🙏
Awww, thank you, Patrick. What a sweet thing to say. I want to thank you so much for looking around at 🌿 Leaves and reading so many of my archived stories!. Hardly any one takes the time to do that and it is much appreciated. By the way, I love your icon photo of the two dozing friends on the sunny sofa. Beautiful lighting on a peaceful scene.
The longer version it has more substance—although a short version could, but this has emotional meat
Golly! Thanks, Jill, for reading my two little stories and sending out your comments. I really appreciate it.
I like the fifty better, only because it leaves the woman in a sort of virtuous mystery, a rock to build on.
Thank you, Jim. Those 50-word stories are trickier to write than one would think. I appreciate so much that you read my stuff.
I like both. Each one has its own charm.
Thank you, Yael. Happy Sunday to you!