Great story told in a unique way. You capture the spirit of adventure and romance that drives a young person to explore the world on their own. Love it!
Thanks so much for your suggestions here. I was out of my generation with this one. You will be pleased to know that a new chapter of Haylene and Marla is begun. They are planning to take route 66 out to California. I wonder what roadside attractions they will find along the way. Have a great week away!
I think he wasn't either! I wonder what the actual ending will be and why she did what she did? Just like in real life, we don't have answers to everything, do we, Janice.
Memories of being a very young man, ruled by testosterone! It is a thrilling time, and rife with error and possibilities. I am happy it said something to you, AT.
What do you think? I sort of like it to end right there. Life rarely has nice, neat endings. I am sure that yelling at her to wait is what he would do. I am not entirely sure it was a good idea.
Thank you, Rebecca. It is challenging for a woman of my age to write from the point of view of a contemporary 20 year old man. I wanted to make him naive, but not dumb, if you know what I mean. And I really don't know the"language" of youth any more. I thought he turned out likable, in any case.
"she hugged me, right there in the market, surrounded by all these piles of fish". I love the irony of the setting - man gulps down delicious bait and gets pulled to face bad consequences. And then, he's miraculously off the hook. What a delectable story!!!
Story line: He flounder and was sorry he lobster.( He'd had a whale of a time. ) So he ran after her just for the halibut. Thank Cod, they may get a second chance.
I enjoyed the one-sided conversation structure, and well done, Sharron. I was in the moment, with every word, and the visuals, the emotions...the open-ended dénouement. Skill and craft well honed. Thank you!
Great story, I am glad you made it a happy ending. I liked the technique you used, no traditional dialog.
Thank you, Scott, for being such a loyal reader at 🍁Leaves. I look forward to your next!
Loved this, Sharron.
It felt fresh & snappy.
You go girl!
Fresh and snappy! Yaaaay! Thank you, Lori. I hope you are enjoying your summer! Any new romance in your life?
Interrrrrestinggg!
It was an interesting photo prompt. I hope someone else in our writing group gives it a try! There are a lot of possibilities.
I hope she waited.
She probably did, but is it his best choice? Not sure, but I think it is what a 20 year old man would do after such a fiery night...
Great story told in a unique way. You capture the spirit of adventure and romance that drives a young person to explore the world on their own. Love it!
Thanks so much for your suggestions here. I was out of my generation with this one. You will be pleased to know that a new chapter of Haylene and Marla is begun. They are planning to take route 66 out to California. I wonder what roadside attractions they will find along the way. Have a great week away!
Ha! Cool twists and turns there. Fooled me! Very nice, Sharron!
So glad you enjoyed this one, James Ron! It is not the adventure of panning for gold, but I had fun writing it all the same.
Well, panning for gold becomes a regular thing after a while. I'd just as soon pan for a story such as this. : )
I loved this story and wasn’t expecting the ending.
I think he wasn't either! I wonder what the actual ending will be and why she did what she did? Just like in real life, we don't have answers to everything, do we, Janice.
Good questions - I guess we will have to wait and see. As you say we don't have the answers to everything.
This so, so, so sweet...! And it brought back memories.... Five stars, Sharon!
Memories of being a very young man, ruled by testosterone! It is a thrilling time, and rife with error and possibilities. I am happy it said something to you, AT.
Its not the ending is it... ))))
What do you think? I sort of like it to end right there. Life rarely has nice, neat endings. I am sure that yelling at her to wait is what he would do. I am not entirely sure it was a good idea.
You are the master of sucking me in and leaving me hanging! HaHa!
Yes, I think life is like that. I don't know about you, but there are a lot of dangling strings in my own life...
Wow, yay to Gina for redeeming herself! That ending was such a surprise - and a perfect one, at that.
Loved this line: "She made me feel sort of … competent. You know what I mean?"
I DO know what he means. That recognition of something new when you're exploring the idea of getting to know someone.
Such a lovely post, Sharron!
Thank you, Rebecca. It is challenging for a woman of my age to write from the point of view of a contemporary 20 year old man. I wanted to make him naive, but not dumb, if you know what I mean. And I really don't know the"language" of youth any more. I thought he turned out likable, in any case.
I love how you present your characters, Sharron - they've all got such depth. Wonderful writing!
Maybe you're right. She's already proven thief, so not a good candidate for relationship. BYE Girlie!
It is possible he wasn't using his brain when he decided to stop her. Some other anatomy may have been involved. Just saying...
Sounds like it to me too hahahaha
Traveling alone at 20 is just asking for trouble. 🤣
You think? Thanks for reading over here to this side of Planet Substack, Mark!
Always a pleasure.
Thanks
"she hugged me, right there in the market, surrounded by all these piles of fish". I love the irony of the setting - man gulps down delicious bait and gets pulled to face bad consequences. And then, he's miraculously off the hook. What a delectable story!!!
Story line: He flounder and was sorry he lobster.( He'd had a whale of a time. ) So he ran after her just for the halibut. Thank Cod, they may get a second chance.
(sorry)
Hahaha!
Fishy business, this whole romance game...
Sure is! But I like to trout new things. This time, the one-sided conversation.
The one-sided conversation technique worked so well in this story. I should try using it more in my writing.
I enjoyed the one-sided conversation structure, and well done, Sharron. I was in the moment, with every word, and the visuals, the emotions...the open-ended dénouement. Skill and craft well honed. Thank you!