This gets more and more intriguing. You have developed the setting beautifully, I can picture every detail of the house and the surroundings. The ominous flashing in the night sky, coming closer on succcessive evenings and Hamish's reaction--resigned and maybe not surprised.
The dialect is spot-on.
A little surprise at the end!
You've gotten us down the rabbit hole now. We'll be waiting for more!
Tatties, neeps and a wee bit o' haggis on the side... in better days! I have no idea if I can continue this one or not. I may have done enough damage. Thanks for reading both parts, my friend
I agree with what Jim said above on all accounts! I’m getting more and more immersed in this story/setting, and find myself wanting more. These characters have great chemistry with one another and I can see this as the beginning of a long relationship. Their interactions and dialogue (not to mention everything going on around them in the background) would keep me turning pages for a long time.
Thanks Justin. I may have gone too far past my abilities to add a Part 3. I am waiting for inspiration. Sometimes it strikes like a rabid wolverine in the middle of the night and have to get out of bed and write it down.
Time will tell! Maybe those characters aren’t finished with you. 😉
Haha! I love that description. So true. I’ve been there before! (Or in the middle of a shower and you have to hop out quickly and dry off before the ideas are gone, down the drain...) 🤣
Message to Me: The essential need and desire for Connection is all ways, and especially at times of crisis, separation and isolation. For me, "Mission accomplished." I am complete. Thank You, Master Story Teller. You had me in the point of Your pen.
Thank you Bonita. The ending of Part 2 was a little too weird for some readers. I went back and changed one sentence to leave it more speculative. I am happy to hear it made sense to you. It did to me. I am trying for a part 3. Not sure I can pull it off. Just know, it is not about gender. It is about survival.
I am making a sincere effort. But Hamish has not given me his plan yet, and I don't understand whatever it is Weelu speaks, so she is no help. Sometimes it takes a while. Thanks for the encouragement, Jenise!
I am getting all kinds of vibes, end of days scenario and the difference in language and alien element reminds me of "Enemy Mine" one of my favourite movies growing up.
I was a linguist and language instructor in my working life. Language fascinates me still. Especially the cross-cultural aspects. I remember "Enemy Mine". I loved it.
Love this story and how the two slowly become a couple. Now I'm intrigued about Weelu's origins. Is she from outer space or is she one of the faery folk who've emerged from hiding to reclaim their world? And Scotland! I take it you've been there and know the feel of the mist, the aroma of the air, and the feel of the land under your feet.
Och! Scotland is my second home. I never met any extraterrestrials there but I know the topography and meteorology like the back of my hand. How I would love to go there one more time.
I have a friend who lives in Auchenblae near Aberdeen. We've been corresponding for over 40 years ... since I met her on the kibbutz. I don't know where she is now, though, as she went to Jordan to work with a humanitarian aid group helping Palestinian refugees. When you mentioned Inverness in your story, I thought your characters were getting close to her neck of the woods. Will you be writing more stories about your time in Scotland?
Click on the TRAVEL SECTION on my home page, there are five stories about Scotland - about highland cows, the archeology of Orkney, flying into Barra, freedom to roam, an adventure in Ardnamurchan. I have more in my head… possibly some more fiction… not sure. Life is so short, Sue.
You do a fabulous job of developing the story while keeping many details necessarily vague. Non-human, what is that? Anatomically different, in what ways? "It" is getting closer night by night. What is "it"? The way you tell the story, none of these details matter. It's about the characters and their interactions which are beautifully described. Your writing talents are on full display in this one, Sharron. Bravo!
Wow Sharron,
This gets more and more intriguing. You have developed the setting beautifully, I can picture every detail of the house and the surroundings. The ominous flashing in the night sky, coming closer on succcessive evenings and Hamish's reaction--resigned and maybe not surprised.
The dialect is spot-on.
A little surprise at the end!
You've gotten us down the rabbit hole now. We'll be waiting for more!
Oh no... now what have I done..? I better get going. But where?
The intrigue deepens....! And now I'm hungry for turnips - I feel I'm right there, Sharron!
Tatties, neeps and a wee bit o' haggis on the side... in better days! I have no idea if I can continue this one or not. I may have done enough damage. Thanks for reading both parts, my friend
'Enough damage'! You've made me laugh, Sharron. I love your stories!
And indeed, neeps are nothing without haggis and tatties! Food for the gods, all three.
Wow. Wonderful. Fantastic. Timely.
I can see it all in my mind. Good writing makes a movie in my head.
Okay! That is a good sign, Marsha! Glad you liked it.
Intriguing. Disturbing.
Thanks for reading this, Kate. I would like to tell more of their story, but damned if I know what it is. I hope it comes to me.
I agree with what Jim said above on all accounts! I’m getting more and more immersed in this story/setting, and find myself wanting more. These characters have great chemistry with one another and I can see this as the beginning of a long relationship. Their interactions and dialogue (not to mention everything going on around them in the background) would keep me turning pages for a long time.
Thanks Justin. I may have gone too far past my abilities to add a Part 3. I am waiting for inspiration. Sometimes it strikes like a rabid wolverine in the middle of the night and have to get out of bed and write it down.
Time will tell! Maybe those characters aren’t finished with you. 😉
Haha! I love that description. So true. I’ve been there before! (Or in the middle of a shower and you have to hop out quickly and dry off before the ideas are gone, down the drain...) 🤣
ha ha ha Happens a LOT
Message to Me: The essential need and desire for Connection is all ways, and especially at times of crisis, separation and isolation. For me, "Mission accomplished." I am complete. Thank You, Master Story Teller. You had me in the point of Your pen.
Thank you Bonita. The ending of Part 2 was a little too weird for some readers. I went back and changed one sentence to leave it more speculative. I am happy to hear it made sense to you. It did to me. I am trying for a part 3. Not sure I can pull it off. Just know, it is not about gender. It is about survival.
Oh, Sharron, now you've done it. The orange glow and the rumbling have now reached Perth.
Is it going to come closer??? What's going to happen????
Sharron.... you can't keep us all not knowing.
We.
Need.
Resolution.
Ha ha... if there's no Part 3, that's okay. I do enjoy open-ended stories. Thank you for "Surrender".
I am making a sincere effort. But Hamish has not given me his plan yet, and I don't understand whatever it is Weelu speaks, so she is no help. Sometimes it takes a while. Thanks for the encouragement, Jenise!
I am getting all kinds of vibes, end of days scenario and the difference in language and alien element reminds me of "Enemy Mine" one of my favourite movies growing up.
I was a linguist and language instructor in my working life. Language fascinates me still. Especially the cross-cultural aspects. I remember "Enemy Mine". I loved it.
Love this story and how the two slowly become a couple. Now I'm intrigued about Weelu's origins. Is she from outer space or is she one of the faery folk who've emerged from hiding to reclaim their world? And Scotland! I take it you've been there and know the feel of the mist, the aroma of the air, and the feel of the land under your feet.
Och! Scotland is my second home. I never met any extraterrestrials there but I know the topography and meteorology like the back of my hand. How I would love to go there one more time.
I have a friend who lives in Auchenblae near Aberdeen. We've been corresponding for over 40 years ... since I met her on the kibbutz. I don't know where she is now, though, as she went to Jordan to work with a humanitarian aid group helping Palestinian refugees. When you mentioned Inverness in your story, I thought your characters were getting close to her neck of the woods. Will you be writing more stories about your time in Scotland?
Click on the TRAVEL SECTION on my home page, there are five stories about Scotland - about highland cows, the archeology of Orkney, flying into Barra, freedom to roam, an adventure in Ardnamurchan. I have more in my head… possibly some more fiction… not sure. Life is so short, Sue.
Yes it is and isn't it grand we'll probably die before we have all our ideas written? I guess we better get to it. whew!
I hope I die before this chapter in US History is written.... Just saying.
Me too, but the way things are going, we may be living on the cusp of it.
You do a fabulous job of developing the story while keeping many details necessarily vague. Non-human, what is that? Anatomically different, in what ways? "It" is getting closer night by night. What is "it"? The way you tell the story, none of these details matter. It's about the characters and their interactions which are beautifully described. Your writing talents are on full display in this one, Sharron. Bravo!
Golly! I am keeping these comments on my fridge door! A great reminder that sometimes I get it right. Bless you, KC, for the encouragement.