Pawed Cast 5: Up All Night With Raymond

For three minutes of catly news from the left side of Santa Cruz

Sep 14, 2024

Winner of an Erica Drayton “Top In Fiction” Award

It’s 3:00 am and you are tuned into UP ALL NIGHT WITH RAYMOND

Greetings to all my insomniac subscribers! Thanks for tuning in to another pawed cast where all the catly news from the left side of Santa Cruz goes out to night-owls around the world. Links to previous pawed casts are below.

It’s a cool September night here in Santa Cruz-by-the-Sea. A tiny sliver of the crescent moon is rocking lightly on top of the redwood tree across the street. The air is crisp and full of promise. Another summer has come to an end here on the Monterey Bay, and gone with it is the heady fragrance of Coppertone lotion, beer, fireworks and caramel popcorn. Tourists have abandoned us once again, leaving their money behind in our restaurants and bars, returning to their homes with suntans and memories.

And now for the Home Report

• I’m in the dog house again … if cats can even be in the doghouse? I don’t know, but “cat house” doesn’t sound quite right…

Dennis caught me gnawing another plastic tip off the miniature irrigation pipes in our garden. So embarrassing! It is a bad habit, I know. It upsets him every time and I shouldn’t do it. I’ve been trying to stop but the crunch is so damned satisfying. I wonder if there’s a 12-step program for this particular addiction. I need help.

• Every time Dennis heads to the pantry cupboard, I make myself scarce. Six months ago he lured me over to that pantry on the pretext of getting me some Meowijuana Catnibis Munchie Salmon treats and then he grabbed me and tried to squirt some smelly flea goop onto the back of my neck. He was unsuccessful, I might add.

I love the guy, I really do, but I can’t trust him. If he steps too close to that pantry, I am out the door! He thinks I will forget the incident, but I wont.

• I have a new playpal, a squirrel named Goober. She comes over the fence everyday and runs back and forth along the bottom of the short patio wall. I run along right beside her, but on the other side of the wall. Every once in a while we peek over the top at each other then duck down and keep running back and forth.

I know, it’s dumb, but I sort of like interspecies action. I am easily entertained.

Turning now to the Neighborhood Cat Scan

• I completed my rounds of fences, ferns and sheds early this evening and can report that all is quiet on Marnell Avenue, except for a few possums, raccoons and rats — the usual suspects, out foraging for pizza crusts, cold french fries , apple peels and burnt bacon bits in the bins. They are harmless.

• I’m happy to report that Marcus, the black cat who’d been living in the trash bin where someone had dumped him about a month ago, has been rescued! Otto-Miguel, my *Chiweenie friend, told me that a nice lady from the dog park took Marcus home with her. She fed him and made him a bed, for which he was grateful. For the bath and the flea goop, he was less grateful, but still, he seems to have settled in nicely at his new home. Way to go, Marcus!

• My neighbor, Tom, who is sort of a player, has been dragging me along with him to the Feline Speed Dating events on Saturday nights. Here are some of the women we’ve met lately:

Myrna ( very shy ) ……… Lily ( finds me boring ) …. Poppy ( always. hungry ) Toots ( a little bossy ) ……Marge ( a plus-size flirt ) …Wanda ( kind of scary )

Tom has an enormous interest in females. In fact, it seems they’re all he ever thinks about. I don’t have much interest, I’m not sure why. They’re sort of a nuisance if you ask me.

Besides, I should be at home on Dennis’ lap on Saturday nights. He’s a little needy.

Well, that’s it for tonight, friends! I’m happy to announce that this pawed cast now has 421 subscribers in 40 states and 41 countries. Thank you all!

Please leave a comment and smack that little heart to cast your vote. See you next time, and meanwhile, you might tell your friends it’s time start staying